Last week, we had an excellent Ask the Coach session (hope to see you at the next one!), and something repeatedly came up: how networking can feel so uncomfortable.
People wanted to know how to reach out to someone without sounding pushy, how to ask for help without being transactional, and what they were actually supposed to get out of a networking conversation.
And I get it! We're so used to thinking about work in terms of outcomes. You do something, you check it off your list, you move on to the next thing.
So when you're job searching, it's natural to approach networking the same way.
But I think we need to change how we think about networking in the first place.
Not every conversation needs an ask.
When you're networking, your goal isn't to get someone to offer you a job. It's to build a relationship.
That means being genuinely curious about the person you're talking to.
Who else in the space are they impressed with? Who would you recommend they recommend you try and connect with?
You don't need to turn every answer into an opportunity to pitch yourself.
And you don't need to walk away with three introductions and a job lead for the conversation to have been worthwhile.
Sometimes a good networking conversation is just that. A good conversation.
But what if I actually need help?
Of course you do! You're looking for a job. And there's nothing wrong with being clear about that.
You can say something like:
"I'm exploring Chief of Staff roles right now, and I'd love to hear how you made the move into your current position."
Or:
"I'm trying to learn more about organizations doing climate advocacy work. Is there anyone you think I should talk to?"
Those are perfectly reasonable questions.
The difference is that you're inviting someone into a conversation, not asking them to solve your job search.
People want to help. I really believe that.
And at some point you’ll be in the position to help someone else too.
Think about the long game.
Here's something I wish more job seekers would remember: networking doesn’t end when the conversation is over.
If someone gives you advice, follow up and let them know how it went. If you see an article that reminds you of your conversation, send it along. If they mention something they're working on, ask them about it a few weeks later.
That's how relationships grow.
And yes, sometimes those relationships eventually lead to job opportunities. But they can also lead to advice, support, introductions, and a much better understanding of where you want to go next.
So the next time you're setting up a networking conversation, try changing the question you're asking yourself.
Instead of "What can I get out of this?"
Ask: "What can I learn about this person, and how can I build a real relationship with them?"
It takes some of the pressure off. And it makes networking a whole lot more enjoyable. And don’t forget to follow up too! A relationship isn’t formed just by one meeting. You need to follow up, and nurture it.
Happy job searching!
Naomi
PS: If you’d like a partner to help you with your job search strategy, learn how NRG’s coaching programs can help you.
Managing Director (Anonymous Risk Advisory Firm) | Remote | $175,000-$200,000
VP Programs, Climate & Biodiversity (Friends of the Earth) | Remote | $165,000-$200,000
Chief Of Staff (Only One) | Remote | $140,00-$170,000
Communications Director (We Build Progress) |Remote | $150,200-$160,000
People Operations Manager (Growald Climate Fund) | Brookline, MA (Hybrid) | $117,00-$125,000
We're hiring for additional jobs and you can see all of them on the NRG website.
Ask The Coach
Feeling stuck in your job search? Not sure where to start, or what to do next?
Join us for a Q&A session with our career coach, Kristin Saybe. This is for all levels, so whether you’re looking to break into the c-suite, or if you’re finding your first job out of college, this is for you!
📢 Follow NRG on LinkedIn to stay up to date on the roles we’re hiring for. If you find this newsletter helpful, forward it to your friends and help us build our network! If you received this from a friend, sign up here to receive future “Get Hired'' newsletters.
Let’s move,
Naomi
P.S. If you’d like a partner to help you with your job search strategy, learn how NRG’s coaching programs can help you.