The In-person Coffee Chat: Explained

Job search tipsNetworkingJob opportunities
Written By Naomi Roth-Gaudette
 

If you've been searching for a while and nothing has landed yet, I want to say this first: that's not a sign you're doing it wrong. The waiting is real, and often, the hardest part.

You've heard me say it a lot, and I mean it every time: the job search is less about how many applications you send and more about the conversations you have. It really is all about networking.

There's one kind of conversation we don't talk about enough, and it might be the most useful one of all: the in-person coffee.

Most people avoid it. It can feel heavy because nobody ever tells you how it's supposed to go. These are rarer than a Zoom call, which is exactly what makes them worth it.

Here's a goal for you: three in-person coffees before Labor Day. Roughly one every two weeks between now and the end of summer. Three might sound small next to a stack of applications, but an hour across a table sticks. You remember the conversation, and more importantly, they remember you.

Who do you ask? Where do you meet? Who pays? What do you say? This issue aims to take the mystery out of it.

 
 

First, who do you actually meet with?

This is the part that stops most people before they start. You know you should be having conversations, but with who?

Here's a simple way through it: start with the cause, narrow to the work, then find the person.

Say you want to work on climate issues, but are new to the space. Start with organizations doing that work, whether they're near you or fully remote. Then look at who's actually there.

– Who runs their programs?

– Who did they just hire?

– Who used to work there and has since moved on?

A quick Google News search will help you figure out who the local players are. Who's funding climate work in your state? Which organizations are being quoted in the newspaper? This will turn up names you'd never find on a job board. That's your list.

One thing worth knowing before you start reaching out: the people who actually say yes to an in-person coffee are usually friends of friends. There's already a thread connecting you, even a thin one. So start inside your own network and work outward from there. That said, don't talk yourself out of the hail mary either. Send it. People say yes more often than you'd expect, especially when you've told them why you wanted to talk to them specifically.

The same path works across different cause areas, whether it's immigration, housing, reproductive rights, or democracy. Start with the mission, find the organizations, then find the people inside them. You're not looking for a job posting but someone you are interested in talking to.

Don’t worry about finding them all at once, or a “perfect” way to reach out. I find focusing on perfection can get folks stuck at times. It's better to execute and learn along the way.

The part nobody explains: how to actually set it up

Once you have a few names, the hardest part is the ask.

Here's a trick, and it's one that fundraisers use all the time, make the ask about the time, not about the yes. Instead of "would you be willing to meet with me sometime," which is easy to put off, try "any chance you're free for a coffee Thursday around 2?"

You're giving them something concrete to say yes to, and a specific time is much easier to answer than an open-ended request.

A few unspoken rules that make the rest go smoothly:

Meet on their turf.

Let them pick the spot, or suggest somewhere close to them. You're asking for their time, so make it easy to give.

Pay for the coffee.

I like to think whoever invites should also pay. Give yourself a small coffee budget during your job search, one that can cover transportation, and a couple of lattes. This takes the friction out of saying yes to a meeting.

Name the length, and honor it.

Ask for about 50-60 minutes, and keep an eye on the clock so they don't have to. If the conversation is flowing and they want to keep going, that's their call to make.

You’re There, Now What?

The goal of a coffee isn't to impress someone into handing you a job. It's to have a real conversation. You're not being interviewed. You're hearing someone talk about work they care about, which is usually a good time. Enjoy the ride.

A good rule of thumb: they should be talking more than you are. Aim for something like sixty-forty, them to you. You're there to draw them out, not to recite your resume.

A few questions that tend to open people up:

  • Who have you been impressed with lately? Who's doing really important work out there?

  • How did you find your way into your current role?

  • What's the best boss you've ever had, and what made them good?

  • I want to be intentional as I expand my network. Who else do you think I should be talking to?

One question to skip: "what job should I apply for?" It puts them on the spot and it's not really what you're there for.

Instead, give them a clear, short sense of what you're looking for so they can help. Not your whole history, just the shape of it: the causes you care about, the kind of role you want next, whether you're set on remote or in-person. If you want help getting that down to a few clear sentences, these three questions are a good place to start.

The Follow-up

This is where return comes in.

One coffee is nice. But the reason to do this is what happens after, and it's the part people forget. A single meeting isn't the goal; it's the start of a relationship that can point you toward the next thing.

Follow up fast: a thank-you within a day or two, along with a reminder of anyone they offered to connect you with. Then reach out again a few weeks later, just to stay on their radar. Done well, every person you meet points you toward two or three more people, and that's how ten conversations turns into thirty.

The catch is that this is a lot to stay on top of, and good conversations evaporate fast when you're busy.

When you have a coffee, drop the person into the NRG Networking Toolkit tracker. It'll remind you to follow up at six and twelve weeks, and even draft the note for you. You focus on the conversations. Let the sheet keep you organized and your outreach intentional.

Happy job searching!

That's not all! We're hiring for additional jobs and you can see all of them on the NRG website.

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Let’s move,

Naomi

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Naomi Roth-Gaudette
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